Beer Dreams

I'm craving for a bottle of ice-cold beer.

I better put this on my bucket list. Blog as the bitter aftertaste of premium beer slowly spreads across your palate. That would be a very satisfying moment. I can even visualize how I would shiver a little and shake my head both in disgust and sheer pleasure of it.

The truth is that I should be sleeping right now. I'm getting more and more sleep deprived each day and that could really turn me into an overstressed mental wreck. And please add to that how I manage to look like shit every single day. I haven't brushed my hair since summer and this has successfully given birth to a new breed of dandruff. I got two huge, drying zits on my left cheek and some whiteheads here and there. My body's been seriously reduced into a skeletal model. Worse, I don't care. Or better yet, I do not have the time and energy to give a rat's arse about how I look right now. I do not intend to attract men, anyway. That is one factor, although it's absolutely stupid. You just don't doll up for men who would eventually come out of their closets and admit they're gay. That is absurd.

I want to feel and be beautiful for myself. I want to stop thinking about other people for once and just do whatever the hell I want. I worry too much. Perhaps I really need to take a break...And not feel guilty about being unproductive. I have turned myself into a working machine; I am thisclose to drafting a syllabus or, hell, a whole curriculum on how I should be living my life right now. I am too occupied. I don't even have enough space for me, if you know what I'm talking about.

The people I work with often assume that this was brought about by the break-up I had two months ago (yes, the longest time I've been single in seven years!), but break-ups don't have that kind of depressing effect on me. And I do not mean to brag, because that's not something to be proud about. It's a curse. My curse after I dared break a covenant I made with God. But that's another story.

Again, I should be sleeping right now. Tomorrow may be Friday, but in my line of work, any day is just as good as Monday. Happy dreaming.