No, this isn't about the Ring of Middle Earth, nor is this about an Asian horror flick. It's about my engagement ring.
Whenever a woman gets engaged, she, without fail, would have to be ready to do two important things: tell people how the guy proposed to her and show them her ring. You can cue in the collective gasp, giggles and 'congratulations' after these are done. Well, this is for women with boring lives. Mine was different.
Did I go through the two-step post-engagement evaluation process? Yes. Did I get the same response? No. My fiancee was supposed to propose to me in a restaurant, that he told me days later. But it was a stormy September evening and we couldn't get a ride to the resto. The water was starting to rise and we both knew that we'd be stuck if we pushed through. We decided to go home. Nobody else was there but the two of us. We were so hungry that we heartily ate what was on the table,which was ginisang ampalaya. How's that for fine dining?
Halfway through dinner, he asked me to read a "blog" that he said he made. He's not really the kind of guy who would write you poems or love letters. I read it, anyway. It must have been five paragraphs long. Not bad for an amateur blogger, huh? And at the end of it was the "question". Of course, I said yes. I gave him a tight hug and a kiss. And then that was it. No crying. No music. No flash mob. No crowd. Nobody was even there to capture the moment. It was just us.
When I told this to my friends, I saw their excitements shoot from the moon and the stars down to the dusty ground. They still put up a happy face though. They said, "ay, sweet pa din." With a retarted smile. I wanted to laugh out loud. I think I actually did. Maybe people just have a lot of expectations when it comes to wedding proposals. Well, it's a life-changing event. It has to be done with grandeur.
The funny thing is that, I think mine was perfect. No shit about that. For one, I was on my right mind. There was no sunset, no starry sky or city lights that could have stirred up intense romantic emotions in me. When I said yes, it was a decision made both by my clear head and calm heart. It was a yes that came from every ounce of me.
This is why I am proud of the way my man proposed to me. Nobody could have ever thought of that! So simple yet so meaningful.
And then there's the second task. Show them your ring.
Rewind to a few days before the proposal. We were strolling at this mall. He was about to go back to where they were stationed. Out of the blue, I told him, "Buy me a ring. I don't care how it looks like. It could be just a simple ring. But you have to buy me a ring."
He was thinking deeply and then he looked at me like maybe I was nuts.
That moment I was thinking of the many times this guy and my exes have tried to put a ring on my finger as a gift. I managed to lose those rings. Maybe because I never actually took them as my own. I never really cared for them as much as I cared about my books.
Weeks later, he gave me this ring with a tiny diamond. I did task number two and proudly showed it to the world. I got mixed reactions. Some took a second look and woke up to the reality that it's really small. Others asked me to ask my fiancee if he was serious about the engagement. His relatives even laughed at it and told me, "Naku, tinipid ka! Ilocano talaga!"
My only allies were his mother and my mother. The latter told me, "Mabuti nga binigyan ka ng singsing, si Papa mo nga walang binigay!"
So what makes my ring different from the sea of brick-sized, 18-c diamond rings?
It was my choice.
And the things you choose? You cherish them, protect them, love them with all your heart. No matter how small.
Sometimes, when I feel very tired, stressed or downright wrecked, I look at the tiny diamond on my ring. It sparkles and I marvel at how beautiful it is. It was like a child I chose to conceive. And my heart swells with pride.
Before we parted ways the day I kind of proposed to him, I erased the confusion on his face. I said the ring was a reminder of my decision. And remember, what you choose, you cherish.
This ring is my promise.
